The Atlas

Trying to Suck Less at Asking for Help

Making a Request for Help Meaningful

Twice in the past couple of days I've found myself in virtually the same conversation with different people: someone was urgently in need of something from someone else, but had not provided enough context to help clarify why the request was so important or time sensitive.

As someone who (almost) always makes sure to provide context related to requests like this, I am constantly fascinated at this reluctance. Intellectually, I get that there is an innate vulnerability to exposing your true degree of need to someone else.

But, I've also learned something else really important over the years: most people like feeling useful.

When we make a generic plea for help, it's frequently too vague to be actionable, and that put the onus on the person being asked to come up with a way to help -- that's an undo burden that doesn't make them feel useful as much as put upon.

But when someone asks us something explicit that is within our power to provide, and we can clearly see why it is important to them, it quickly becomes hard for most of us to say no. Especially if we have a vested interested in the relationship (for whatever reason) and granting the help is not something that causes us a particular hardship.

We all need help sometimes -- even those of us who suck at asking. But the best way to get it when you need it is to make sure that you're precise in your request and you're providing enough context to help someone see how they are doing something meaningful.

Have a great day, and good luck poking whatever bear you're tackling this week!

Best,
Alora's Signature