“When negotiating, the average person looks without seeing the meaning of the body language” my friend Derek Arden, one of the world’s foremost experts on negotiation, says in a recent article. What he says is worth reading so I reproduce his article here:

One of my favourite quotes is attributed to Leonardo da Vinci who said that the average person…

Looks without seeing
Listens without hearing
Touches without feeling
Eats without tasting
Smells without awareness and
Talks without thinking

What can we take from this?

We are not average because high achievers like us, who read books, read newsletters, listen to audio, do notice more than the average person. However, it is important to keep practicing and keep consciously sensing what is going on, which will raise our sensory skill level.

From the work of the neuro-psychologists we know that all the information that goes into our brain goes in via our 5 senses. However, we filter out most of the information because of overload. We just can’t process all the information.

So, what can we do about this?

  1. “Switch on our radar” in other words start being consciously aware to notice more.
  2. Practice our observation skills when out walking or on a train.
  3. Make sure we are fully present when we are doing this. Not thinking about what we are going to do next or what we did last week. If we do this, we will filter out important information.

When studying in the USA, I realised that high achievers have higher sensory acuity.

However, this isn’t something that we are born with. This is something that we teach ourselves by consciously raising our observation skills and keep working on them.

So, negotiation masters keep reviewing their skills to help them be more aware of this vital sensory information. It is said to be 5 times more difficult to lie with body language than it is with the words.

See what a difference it makes to you. You will get better negotiation results because you will have more information to make better decisions.

Derek Arden

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