Conservatives have better sex than liberals

I’ve found the results of this study to be true.

Just when President Obama and his shrinking band of backers got a whiff of hope from a job approval blip, comes the devastating news that conservatives not only give better sex but have better sex.

A new report from Match.com based on an outside survey of some 6,000 single Americans confirms what most conservatives had long believed privately but could never confirm because, being conservatives, they can’t really talk about sex or acknowledge its existence, despite all their children.

The finding: Republicans have the highest rate of orgasm of any group in the report. Especially conservative Republicans. No wonder those tea partiers always look so happy.

In fact, a majority of self-identified conservatives reported that during sex they reach orgasm just about every single time. That’s way higher than the Democrat’s national job approval.

Such a high conservative orgasm rate compares with only 40% reported success for liberal Democrats who, being liberal, talk openly forever about subjects like sex to affirm their liberality.

But we now know they’re over-compensating for inadequacy and self-report experiencing considerably less satisfaction in private.

This does help explain, however, liberals’ dedication to busy work outside their bedroom such as imposing rules on other people involving electric cars, global warming and health warnings all over restaurant menus.

The report by a trio of recognized academics was commissioned by Match.com, a commercial enterprise that charges a membership fee to promote legal coupling by people with occasionally true online bios. Study participants, however, were not necessarily Match.com members.

(Snip)

Other study findings: Biggest sexual turnoffs for women are lazy guys (72%) followed closely by unclean ones (71%). Despite the social stereotype that women seek marital commitment and men dodge it, 21% of males said they’d commit to an otherwise ideal partner even if he didn’t find her sexually attractive.

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