Living Compassion Tip -- Week 18

Find the True Feeling

Inez calls Sophia and says, "I feel so overwhelmed by Jose." Sophia comments, "Well, maybe you should break up with him." Inez retorts, "You're just jealous because I have a boyfriend who really cares about me!"

Wait - what just happened here? One friend called another to share her feelings about her boyfriend but ended up getting a negative response she didn't expect.

The mix-up started with Inez using the word "overwhelmed" to describe her feelings for Jose. According to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, "words like 'overwhelmed,' 'ignored,' etc. express how we interpret others, rather than how we feel."

Sophia read Inez's overwhelm as something negative. But Sophia meant to express how happy she was with all the attention Jose gives her.

There are a number of words that we often use to describe feelings that really don't express how we are truly feeling. Here are just a few:

Mindful Practice for the Week

Notice your use of non-feeling words that express how you interpret others. See if you can pause and find a word that better describes what you really feel. Enjoy your week!